Weiß fics and VanillaCoke highs just don't mix!
by Allegra Monet
Summary: I wrote this while I was high on VanillaCoke. Who let Farf into my room?! CRAWFORD!! I"M GONNA KILL YOU!! Crawford: I forsaw this...Anyway, Australia in Ch1, in Ch2 Schu wears a dress for the sake of becoming...SCHULAN!!! R+R plz? =0)


What happens when authoresses drink too much Vanilla Coke and read too many Weiß fanfics!  
  
Disclaimer: After much pleading with Koyasu Takehito, I came away empty- handed. But not for long! I WILL OWN WEIß! Eventually. Just as soon as I can get Crawford to come with me.*next-door neighbour throws brick out window* *brick connects with authoress* Damn this addictive Vanilla Coke! I'm having hallucinations again!  
  
Warning: OOC, people on crack, blah, blah, blah, etc.  
  
A/N: Read, review, load up the flame throwers and let 'er rip! Just as long as you write something!  
  
CHAPTER 1: Takatori looks kinda like a koala. I think he's an Australian native animal in disguise! Hannah- So, guys, what do you wanna do?  
  
Yohji- Flirt. *Flirts with the wall*  
  
Schu- AAAHH!! He's been smoking crack again! And *sniff* mine too! ARRGH! *tries to strangle Yohji*  
  
Hannah- Hey! Watch the.*Vase crashes to floor* Oh, never mind.  
  
Omi- *reading fanfics on ff.net* Ooh, I found one about me!  
  
Yohji- *flirts with the floor* What's a nice carpet like you doing in a place like this?  
  
Carpet- *(...)*  
  
Yohji- My thoughts exactly.  
  
Ken- *reads over Omi's shoulder* What the. Oh my GOD! NOOOO!!! *runs away* *knocks Aya over*  
  
Aya- *rubbing sore ass* What the hell was that about?!  
  
Schu- *getting up off floor* I think he read one of those yaoi fanfics.  
  
Nagi- *sauntering into room* What's so wrong with that?  
  
Aya- *reading computer screen* .pairing: Farf/Ken. *faints*  
  
Yohji- Aya! I'll save yoooooo..! *trips over Hannah (i.e. authoress)* _ I didn't know you had 3 legs!  
  
Farfie- Genetic mutations hurt God. *licks dagger*  
  
Nagi- Where are your knives?  
  
Farfie- Got 'em upgraded.  
  
Crawford- Dammit! I thought I got rid of the coupons!  
  
Farfie- Nope. I had a stash of them in the inside pocket of my straightjacket.  
  
Crawford- Curses! Why didn't I see that coming?  
  
Yohji- *still on ground* Bradley, has anyone told you that you have the nicest shoes?  
  
Crawford- No. Hang on, did you just call me Bradley?!  
  
Yohji- *attempts to keep a straight face* *bursts out laughing at the stupidity of the situation* *high on crack*  
  
Hannah- AYA! KEN! Get in here!  
  
Ken- *in Aya's arms* *looks around* Is the evil fanfic gone?  
  
Schu- *looks at Aya and Ken* HAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Aya- *drops Ken* SHIIII-NEEEEEE!!!!! *runs after Schu with katana*  
  
Schu- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *takes a deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Farfie- *joins in chase*  
  
Group of random villagers armed with pitchforks- *following Farfie*  
  
Omi- o_0 Where did they come from?  
  
Nagi- *shrugs* Beats me.  
  
Crawford- *still trying to figure out whether Yohji called him *shudder* Bradley or not*  
  
Hannah- Like I was saying, who wants go to Australia?  
  
All- Sure!  
  
Hannah- That was easy! ^_^  
  
~ON THE PLANE~  
  
Hannah- *mp3 player on as loud as possible* *listening to Aya's theme over and over*  
  
Yohji- *not so high on crack anymore* *flirts with blonde flight attendant on aeroplane* Helloooo.. Flight attendant- *does best to ignore him* ..And if you look under your seats, you will find your parachutes.  
  
Yohji- Can we fly tandem?  
  
Flight attendant- Yes.  
  
Yohji- *eying off flight attendant*  
  
Schu- *asks flight attendant* Then will you fly with me?  
  
Yohji- I saw her first!  
  
Schu- NO! I DID!  
  
Yohji- *attacks Schu* FLIRTING IS MY OCCUPATION!!  
  
Crawford- *looking over newspaper* I thought you were a florist.  
  
The whole plane goes deathly quiet.  
  
Farfie- *laughs at silence* Ha! Silence hurts- WHOA! *Aya flies at him* *Farfie in a stranglehold*  
  
Aya- *flies at Farfie* DON'T SAY IT!  
  
Flight attendant- *sitting on Schu's lap* Would it help for you to know that.*whispers to Schuldig*  
  
Schu- Oh. Actually,*grabs Yohji and drags him over* I think my friend here is more interested.  
  
Ken- What did she say?  
  
Schu- She's actually a he, but he couldn't get the job unless he was a she.  
  
Ken- RUN AWAY YO-TAN! RUN AWAY!!!  
  
Yohji- *smoking* Yeah, I will. When I finish this.*points to cigarette*  
  
Hannah- You guys are too weird.  
  
~PLANE TOUCHES DOWN IN AUSTRALIA~  
  
Hannah- *still listening to Aya's theme on mp3 player* I'm going to the little girls' room. Meet me at the souvenir shop in 15 minutes. *walks away*  
  
Schu- GUYS! Come here for a second! *group huddle* *whispers* I just realised, we'll be staying in a hotel with Hannah. She'll be our only female contact, until we meet some Australian girls..  
  
*universal light bulb*  
  
All except Aya- *evil grin*  
  
Aya- Bad idea. If you hadn't noticed, SHE'S the AUTHORESS, and she can do nasty things to us!  
  
Crawford- I don't care, as long as I get laid!  
  
All- *stare blankly at Crawford*  
  
Crawford- *blushes* Please tell me I didn't just say that out loud.  
  
Yohji- *fails to hide grin* We all heard you! You've got the hots for Rochi- chan!  
  
Hannah- *sees guys and comes over*Yohji! WHY DID YOU JUST YELL OUT MY MIDDLE NAME?! I TOLD YOU THINKING YOU WOULD KEEP IT CONFIDENTIAL!  
  
Omi- I think Rochelle's a nice middle name.  
  
Hannah- You really think so?  
  
Aya- *to avoid being in her bad books* Yeah.  
  
Hannah- Thankyou, guys!  
  
Aya- o_O Where are the kangaroos? The koalas? Takatori??  
  
Hannah- Outside the airport terminal! They don't keep kangaroos and koalas in here, and they sure as hell don't keep a notorious criminal from Japan in here, either!  
  
Nagi- How does she know about Takatori??  
  
Schu- Eh.  
  
~AT THE HOTEL~  
  
Hannah- Oh, only two rooms left. *grins* That means one for me, and one for the rest of you!  
  
Schu- Not fair! It'll be cramped!  
  
Hannah- *sighs* Okay. I'll have Yohji, Farfie, Aya, and Crawford.  
  
Schu- NOOOOOO!!!  
  
Hannah- What's wrong with him?  
  
Yohji- Uh, nothing..  
  
Aya- She'll find out sooner or later, guys!  
  
Crawford- SHHH!!! *tries to gag Aya*  
  
Hannah- *looks at them strangely* Well, I'm having an early night. Seeing as there's only two beds per room, I'll have one, and you four with me can have the other.  
  
Yohji, Farf, Crawford- *groan*  
  
Hannah- *loud sigh* Okay. Crawford and Farf can share my bed.  
  
Yohji- NOOOO!!  
  
Hannah- What is it THIS TIME?!  
  
Nagi- The same thing.  
  
Hannah- *scratches head* Nope, not even gonna bother asking..Good night, bishies. *kisses each of them on the cheek* *walks into room*  
  
Crawford- I can't go on like this! *rips shirt off and yells at the top of his lungs*  
  
Hannah- Hey! Keep it down, will ya!  
  
Farfie- You have been told. *licks pocket knife*  
  
They all go to bed, and Crawford manages to control himself, until the next time..  
  
~END~  
  
Now, the flame-throwers are set up and ready to go!  
  
Thanx for reading, but I need your ideas to HELP ME OUT!! You WILL get recognition for it ^_^  
  
Hannah 


End file.
